The 7 most common sleep challenges when you have a toddler

Apr 6

As parents, we all know how precious a good night's sleep is, not just for ourselves but also for our little ones. However, when it comes to toddlers they have quite a will of their own which can cause some challenges. Also in terms of sleep, achieving a good night's sleep can sometimes feel like an uphill battle. In this blog post, we address the six most common sleep struggles that parents of toddlers face and provide you with valuable insights to help your toddler drift off to LaLaLand with ease.

1. Bedtime Battles: The "I Don't Want to Sleep" Standoff

One of the most common struggles faced by parents is the dreaded bedtime battle. Toddlers often express their resistance to sleep through tantrums, endless requests, or outright defiance. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine, creating a sleep-conducive environment, and engaging in calming activities can help ease the transition into sleep and minimize the chances of bedtime battles.

If your 2.5+ toddler still takes a long nap during the day and then refuses to go to bed at their normal bedtime at night, chances are they’re sleeping too much during the day or sleeping too late in the afternoon. Start by reducing the time your toddler naps during the day, keep it up for a few days, and then see if the situation improves around bedtime.

If your toddler has stopped napping during the day, their bedtime antics are probably caused by bedtime overtiredness. If they are under 2.5 years old, we recommend taking a short nap again for a few days and see if their night's sleep improves. If they are older than 2.5 years, try going to bed a few days earlier to see if it makes a difference.

2. My toddler won't fall asleep despite being tired

If you can rule out the length or time of a daytime nap as a reason why your toddler isn't falling asleep at bedtime, you might want to take a closer look at their sleeping environment. If their room is too stimulating (too bright or too many toys), this can cause bedtime problems. Also if they hear other brothers or sisters playing, this can get in the way of sleeping around bedtime.

Having a consistent bedtime routine is just as important for toddlers as it is for babies. Keeping their room very dark and using white noise sleep sounds can also help them go to sleep. If they are potty trained, make sure they have gone to the toilet before bed. Another tip is not to give your toddler too much sugar before bedtime. This can also make it more difficult for your child to fall asleep.

3. My toddler keeps getting out of bed

If your toddler is in a "big bed" instead of a crib, chances are they'll realize they can get out. If you're having trouble having your toddler stay in bed (at the start of the night or during the night), first rule out that this behavior is caused by them not being tired enough. This can happen if your toddler sleeps too much during the day or naps too late in the day.

If you're confident that their nighttime visits aren't caused by too much or too little sleep during the day, then you can probably attribute their nighttime outing to a behavioral sleep problem. Consider a sleep consultation with a certified sleep consultant to get tailored advice.

Regardless of the situation, it is crucial to understand the significance of making nighttime awakenings or repeated exits from bed as uninteresting as can be. Limit engaging in conversations or conflicts. Engaging in verbal exchanges or engaging in a "battle" also provides a toddler with attention, which can further stimulate their behavior.

4. My toddler needs me to fall asleep and I have to sit or lie next to him

During nap transitions, developmental leaps, or sleep regression, a toddler may experience a spike in separation anxiety. You may notice that they are more clingy during the day and when it comes to their nap time or bedtime, they can get really upset if you try to leave the room. Know that this development is quite normal and these phases represent temporary shifts in a toddler's sleep pattern.

By recognizing these regressions as normal and adjusting expectations, parents can navigate these transitions more smoothly and support their child's sleep needs.

Your toddler may demand that you stay in the room with them while they go to sleep, or they may want you to cuddle them or lie down with them so they feel you are close.

There's nothing wrong with cuddling your child to sleep or laying with them while they go to sleep, if that's what you like. Do know that if you do this for a few days, there is a good chance that a new sleep association has emerged and that it seems that your toddler can't / won't do without it anymore.

There are several ways to unlearn the sleep association. Consistency and patience are often key here. During a sleep consultation, we are happy to tell you more and provide tailor-made advice.

5. My toddler does not sleep during the day

Many parents find themselves struggling with their toddler's short and inconsistent naps. This can leave both the child and the parent feeling tired and irritable. Understanding the importance of nap duration and timing, providing a sleep-friendly environment, and establishing a nap routine can significantly improve nap duration and quality, resulting in a well-rested toddler.

If your child is younger than 2.5 years old chances are they still need a nap midday. Make sure to try not to put them down for their nap too early in the day or they won't make it to bedtime or end up in bed overtired. The length of the nap depends on the age. You can do the following to have greater success in getting your child to nap during the day. The length of the nap is dependent on your child's age.

A predictable routine can prepare your child to slow down and get ready for sleep.
Make sure that you don’t put your child down too early in the day, ideally their nap should fall midday to keep their day in balance.
Having them sleep in a non-stimulating environment, ideally a dark room.
The use of white noise to draw out any household noises.

If your child is older than 2.5 years and you have taken into account or implemented the suggestions mentioned above, it's likely that they are ready to eliminate the nap. During the initial weeks, aim to maintain a calm environment during the day and adjust bedtime by moving it forward by half an hour to compensate for the absence of the nap. Experiencing excessive fatigue can be unpleasant for both you and your child, so it's essential to take measures to prevent it.

6. My toddler is an early riser

Ah, the dreaded early wake-up calls. We consider your child an early riser when they structurally wake up between 4 am -6 am. By keeping the next things in mind you might be able to get your little one to sleep in a little while longer.

Environmental factors i.e. light and dark, noise, temperature.
Is their daily schedule appropriate and in balance for their age?
Not able to self- settle and re-settle for sleep.
Do they rely on any sleep crutches i.e. feeding, rocking, laying or sitting next to your child till they fall asleep etc

7. My toddler still wakes up at night for milk

Starting at around 8/9 months old, children generally no longer require nighttime milk for hunger purposes. In simpler terms, we understand that a healthy child of this age will not wake up due to hunger if their weight is appropriate for their age. If your toddler continues to wake up for a feeding, it is likely that it has become more of a habitual behavior and sleep association rather than genuine hunger. Consequently, this could lead to excessive consumption of food or drinks during the night, resulting in a decreased intake of food during the day, thus creating a vicious cycle.

Other reasons why a toddler may wake up:

They're too hot
They are too cold (many toddlers cannot easily pull up their blankets and sleep better in a toddler sleeping bag)
Their need to urinate wakes them up - this is common in older toddlers, especially if they are potty trained during the day but not yet at night.
They are stimulated by something in their room: a night light, a toy, an unusual or new sound
They have had too much sleep during the day
They wake up out of habit because their awakening is usually "rewarded" or (unintentionally) reinforced by a response from a parent

Written by Denise Stumpel

Founder and Certified Infant and Toddler Sleep Consultant | Potty Coach